(LET ME OUT OF HERE)
The sunlight poured in the window of the garage. The big grayish cat sat on the old sheets, waiting to get out.
(I POOPED ALONG THE EDGE OF THE GARAGE TO PROTECT IT FROM THAT AWFUL OSCAR. I HISSED AT MOLLY SEVERAL TIMES TO KEEP HER UP IN THE TOP OF THE GARAGE AWAY FROM ME AND THE FOOD, AND THEN TO KEEP HER DUMBASS FROM JUMPING ON ME. I’M READY TO GET OUT. I SMELL SQUIRRELS AND BIRDS AND TOADS. IT”S BEEN MONTHS SINCE I’VE BEEN OUT, AND THE SUN IS UP. WHERE ARE THE HUMANS?)
Contrary to what the fat dusky colored cat thought, months had not passed. In fact, only about six hours had passed since she was put up in the garage earlier that morning. Of course, being a cat she had no concept of the passage of time. Outside the garage, a door opened. Somebody was coming out.
(I HEAR SOMEBODY! OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!)
She stretched and jumped down from her bed and headed to the door. The footsteps outside came down the stairs of the deck. The steps went from the wood of the deck to the concrete of the patio. The portly cat prepared herself to jump out when the door open. After what seemed like an eternity to the cat the door opened.
“Hey Sandusky-whoah, you really want out, huh?”
Sandusky the cat left the garage, ready for another day. She dashed around the feet of her liberator, heading to her scratch spot. She wasn’t quite sure who freed her, looked like one of the big ones. She didn’t care, as long as they didn’t pick her up.
She reached her scratch spot and started rolling. She enjoyed this part of her day the most, it was so relaxing and comforting.
(THE PATIO CONCRETE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE AWFUL GARAGE CONCRETE. I LOVE ROLLING ON MY SCRATCHSPOT IT IS A VERY WONDERFUL PLACE. ESPECIALLY SINCE MOLLY ISN’T HERE.)
She spoke too soon. Sandusky heard the bell behind her, and she stopped rolling. She turned around and looked at her much smaller sister.
(WHY ARE YOU HERE? YOU SHOULD BE UP IN YOUR PLACE ABOVE THE GARAGE. I DON’T WANT YOU RUINING MY SCRATCHSPOT.)
She hissed at Molly.
“HEY, STOP. NO HISSING.”
(EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME THAT, I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY HUMANS. WHY WOULD THEY TELL ME TO NOT DEFEND MY SCRATCHSPOT AGAINST THAT AWFUL MOLLY?)
She brushed off the insult from her human, and walked up the deck. She went to the her usual corner, watching to make sure Oscar and Molly were nowhere to be found. She lay down and went to sleep.
After a nap that seemed like it lasted a century (actually forty-five minutes), Sandusky stretched and got up. She walked down the steps, across the patio, and into the grass. A few steps later, she reached the big hole in the fence. She walked through it into the side yard, where the people grew those pointless red balls and kept that awful machine that ate grass while making frightful noises. The machine was in its storage building, and the red ball plants were still pretty small.
She walked around the boundaries of her territory in the side yard, no cats had crossed it. She smelled a raccoon had come through overnight. She was glad she hadn’t been there, raccoons were terrible monsters. She also smelled some rabbits, but they were long gone. She heard squirrels chattering the alarm about her in the trees behind the big yellow house. Birds eyed her warily.
(STUPID BIRDS YOU ARE TOO FAST FOR ME AND YOU CAN FLY. I’LL CATCH ONE OF YOU SOMEDAY, BUT I MUST BE HONEST)
She looked back at the birds for a bit, but moved on. She had plenty of territory to cover, and any minute the humans might put her back in the garage. She crossed over from the side yard into the yard of the big yellow house. She walked down to where the trees along the fence were, and traveled in their shadows. She smelled more rabbits, some other rodents, some birds, and...MOLLY.
(DAMNIT MOLLY WHY ARE YOU OVER HERE. GO BACK TO THE DAMN GARAGE AND DO YOUR USUAL ACT. I’M SURE THEY’LL LET YOU IN, YOU LOUSY MORRIS.)
She hissed at Molly, who mewed back at her, before running back under the fence. Sandusky delighted in her success at chasing away Molly. She continued along her path, chasing a squirrel out from under a tree. The squirrel dashed across the yard to another tree and climbed. It chattered loudly, unaware that Sandusky posed no threat once the squirrel was up in a tree.
(ALAS I AM TOO HEAVY TO CLIMB A TREE. EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE DAY I LEAPT UP IN THE MAPLE TREE, BUT I WAS AT A PRETTY GOOD WEIGHT THEN. IT IS TOO CLOSE TO WINTER FOR ME TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW. BESIDES, I’D RATHER JUST SLEEP AND EAT.)
She reached the gate at the end of the tree line, and crossed back into her humans’ yard. She crossed the narrow part of the yard, and lay down by the storage building there. It wasn’t part of her humans’ yard, but it was close by. Big dangerous dogs lived nearby, but they were separated from her by a fence, so she didn’t care. She was much more worried about Oscar, Molly, or that awful big orange cat coming around. She didn’t nap, but did take a break, as she was exhausted from her territorial walk.
She finished her break and trotted back down the yard. She stopped by the big oak tree and started growling in a low gutteral growl.
(DAMNIT THAT STUPID OSCAR IS THERE. I DON’T LIKE OSCAR.)
Truthfully, Sandusky didn’t hate Oscar. Oftentimes she coexisted with him, much more so than Molly, who was jumpy around pretty much everybody, whether cat, human, or animal. But sometimes he just rubbed her the wrong way. Also, he looked similar to her nemesis Bighead, even though he was half the size of that cat. But Sandusky had terrible eyesight, and was even worse at determining relative size. Perhaps she thought Oscar was Bighead, or at least a representative of him.
She continued to growl, and Oscar walked off, confused as to why she was so antagonistic. Pleased with his exit, she walked away from the big oak tree, and up the steps to the smaller deck. It was higher than the big deck, and made her feel like she even more the master of the yard. Once atop the stairs, she thought about jumping across to the garage roof, but chose to skip that for the time being. Once over there, it wasn’t as enjoyable as she thought it would be. Also, she wasn’t able to gauge the distance between the roof and the railing of the deck, and she would often get stuck. Humans would have to come and help her across, and it humiliated her when humans had to rescue her.
She went to the corner of the small deck and lay down. Before long she went to sleep.
When she woke up, the sun was setting.
(THE SUN GOES AWAY, AND NOW IT’S TIME TO PLAY! BY NOW MOLLY WILL BE GOING TO THE GARAGE, AND I CAN ACTUALLY GO HUNTING, OR AT LEAST SIT IN THE DARK AND THINK ABOUT HUNTING. I’M VERY HUNGRY, MAYBE I WILL CATCH A SQUIRREL, OR RABBIT!)
As she trotted down off the small deck, the human known as Mom came out of the human house. Sandusky walked along the wooden pathway along where she sometimes lay, and occasionally pooped, hoping to avoid the scrutiny of the human.
“There you are Miss Sandy Cat, I haven’t seen you all day.”
(NO DON’T PICK ME UP, I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. NOOOOO, DON’T, NOOOOO!)
“Ohhh, calm down, I’ve got you, don’t worry.”
In a matter of seconds, Sandusky went from being happy about getting to go on a sunset prowl to having to go inside and sit on a human’s lap. It was terrible, it was tragic, but there was little she could do about it.
(NO SHE IS PETTING ME AND WON’T LET ME GO. THAT STUPID WALL IS UP AND I CAN’T GO TO THE BASEMENT. HAVE SOME MERCY AND LET ME GO TO THE BASEMENT SO I CAN PROWL! I SMELL MICES DOWN THERE! I PROMISE I’LL ONLY POOP A LITTLE DOWN THERE, NOT MUCH. YOU CAN PICK IT UP IMMEDIATELY IT WILL ONLY STINK SLIGHTLY. NOOOOOOOOO. OH WAIT, THIS ISN’T SO BAD, THE PETTING FEELS GOOD. I’M PURRING NOW, I LIKE TO PURR.)
As she lay on Mom’s lap, she went to sleep. Before long, however, she was picked up again.
(NOOOO, I JUST GOT COMFORTABLE)
She had actually slept on her lap for about fifty minutes.
(WHYYYYYY, NOOO, I DON’T WANT TO GO TO THE COLD TABLE WHERE THAT GUY GRABS ME. DON’T TAKE ME TO THE CAR TO DRIVE THERE. NOOOOOO, DON’T TAKE ME TO THE RACCOON DEN. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
The human barely gets into the garage before Sandusky kicks off and lands on her feet. She looks around and hisses at Molly, who is also there.
“No, Sandusky, no. Goodnight, Molly. Goodnight Sandy.”
The human turned off the lights and closed the door.
(NOOOO, WHY AM I HERE! I WANT TO BE OUT! I WANT TO ROAM FREE, SEARCHING OUT ANIMALS TO EAT AND CATS TO FIGHT! NOOOOOOO! I WANT TO FIND SOME RACCOONS....OH WAIT, NO I DON’T WANT TO FIND ANY RACCOONS. OR OPOSSUMS. OR SKUNKS. ON SECOND THOUGHT, THAT FOOD SURE SMELLS GOOD. OUT OF THE WAY MOLLY, I’M HUNGRY.)
Molly ran around the long way to her food bowl, as Sandusky chomped away at her food. It was delicious, although not as delicious as a fresh rabbit would have been. However, it was a lot safer than having to fight a raccoon, or that blasted Bighead.
Her appetite sated, Sandusky walked to the moving wall of the garage, and pooped along it.
(THIS WILL TELL OSCAR AND THE RACCOONS TO STAY AWAY. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THE HUMANS KEEP REMOVING THIS. I NEED THE POOP AS A BARRIER.)
Her job done, she felt tired. She walked back to the corner of the garage, where the sheets she slept on sat. Molly had already jumped up to her bed in the top of the garage. She stretched, and lay down. Soon she was asleep. Tomorrow was another day.
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